Couple and Family Councils

Almost two years ago I had the opportunity to live with a strong LDS family while I completed my internship. I worked on a fully functioning farm the supported the farmer, his wife and their four young children (they were not LDS). One more than one occasion the farmer mentioned that he and his wife had a marriage council of sorts on a week on Tuesday evenings. They made sure their phones were turned off and their children were in bed. They would discuss their goals as a couple, as a family, and the farm business that sustained their family. They would make themselves a nice cup of coffee, curl up on the couch together and make the evening enjoyable. This was in addition to their weekly dates. Meanwhile, at the home I was living at, I felt like I had become part of the family. On Sundays, usually about once a month, I was invited to their family "calendaring" session. They would discuss the father's work schedule, the mother's school goals (she was completing a degree online and homeschooling the children), and the children's school or church events. They would also set goals as a family and even planned a vacation so long as they met their goal that month.

Needless to say, I was extremely impressed with both of these families and their dedication to each other as a couple and as a family. I enjoyed watching the family I lived with and their interactions with their children. Their oldest was just starting seminary and their youngest living child was eight years old. I loved how there was respect and love obvious between the parents and the children. It was clear that the parents had the final say but the children voiced their opinions and ideas kindly and respectfully. 

From these two examples and after the readings this week I truly hope to have effective family and marriage councils. My fiance and I have already talked about it and we would like to have a couple council where we discuss goals and plans for our family but we also want to have weekly dates that we will try hard to keep 'business' out of and instead focus on getting to know each other better. I love this quote by President Joseph F. Smith and I truly feel that my fiance and I have a relationship like this and I hope it continues!

"Parents… should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time.  The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect.  The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children… The wife, also, should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy.  Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic.  She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him… Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home  (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, pp. 283–284)."