A marriage is difficult enough because two people from
different backgrounds are coming together and trying to figure out their new
life. There are habits, quirks, and pet peeves. There are expectations and
fears that may have not been discussed during the courtship and engagement. Add
all of those together and then add the pressures of an 'in-law' family. The
family "rules" and expectations can be overwhelming if you did not
grow up in a similar setting as your spouse (and you probably didn't!) but that
does not mean that your marriage is doomed to fail or that you can't work out
your differences.
I love the counsel the Lord gives in Genesis when He says,
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
unto his wife." And likewise, the woman should cleave her husband. I love
this idea of being sealed to the love of my life and facing the world together
like two partners in crime. Yet, that means that both of our dynamics between
our parents has to change.
My fiance and I are from opposite sides of the country and
that meant one of us would have to make a major move. He had an established job
and I am just ending school. I want to start a small farm/homestead for our
family which means that the cost of land would factor into where we would move.
We both decided it would be best to not live right next to one of our families.
So when the opportunity came for us to move to Missouri - right in the middle
of the country - we prayed about it and decided to take it. Just two weeks ago
he started working there and I will follow him after we are married in a month.
The first half of March included lots of driving and moving our things across
many state lines in order to meet in the middle. I got to experience quite a
bit of this moving about with his grandparents and had flashbacks during this
week's readings about leaving home and beginning this new life of clinging to
each other.
We are scared because of the new changes but we know that it
is what the Lord wants and are excited to follow His lead for our very new
family. We know our families will miss us but we feel that it is what is best
for us as a new couple. I am really close to my mom and he has a great
relationship with his dad, so there are going to be quite a bit of learning
opportunities within the next few months for us specifically to put this
scripture into practice and cleave to one another.
