Marriage in the Temple

Considering I am taking a marriage class, the four readings for this week were all specifically related to marriage. But they did not discuss just any kind of marriage. They focused on an eternal marriage; one that can only be found through the proper authority that comes from the prophets of God. These marriages must be performed in His Holy Houses, His Temples. Currently there are 149 operating temples in the world, 5 under renovation, 13 under construction and 11 announced. They span from Utah to Ukraine, Boston to Brazil, and the Ivory Coast to Alberta Canada. Regardless of location, each temple teaches the exact same doctrines. The ceremonies are the same and the promises are just as lasting. God is a God of order and that is especially manifest in His Holy Temples. 

Temples also span the centuries. We know that Adam built an altar and offered sacrifices to the Lord (Moses 5:6), Moses had a temple that travelled in the wilderness with the children of Israel, Solomon's temple was much more permanent, and of course Jesus Christ Himself taught in the temple throughout His earthly ministry. The ancient people in the Americas built temples to God and worshiped Him through ceremonies and sacrifices. These temple ruins are found in Central and South America and often referred to the Mayan or Incan Ruins. The Mayan, Incan peoples and Native Americans are direct descendants of those who left Jerusalem around 600 A.D. to avoid the religious persecution. Their stories and accounts can be found in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

Also found in the teachings of the Book of Mormon and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that families are eternal. We believe that when couples are married, or sealed, in these holy houses of the Lord by the proper authority their marriage will last for eternity.

As Latter-day Saints, we treat marriage much differently because we believe it will last forever. Much of the world thinks that the marriage covenant can easily be broken when a couple falls out of love or when times get tough. Marriage is certainly not a cakewalk but it is much easier if you are striving for forever rather than looking for the first possible out. Detailed doctrine of the family according to the LDS Church is found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. 

In Genesis 2:18, we read that God said it was “not good that the man should be alone”. Elder David A. Bednar, a modern Apostle of the Lord, has said, “Alone, neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation.” The Lord loves us and wants us to succeed in this life and He knows that the best way to reach our full potential is to be married as husband and wife for time and all eternity. As far as bringing children into the world, Elder Bednar has said, “A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met.”

As I prepare to be married in the temple, I have certainly felt the adversary trying to dissuade me from this decision and make me fearful because of all of the failed marriages around me. I found comfort in knowing that Elder Bednar has warned the world regarding this. He said, “Satan works unremittingly to confuse understanding about gender, to promote the premature and unrighteous use of procreative power, and to hinder righteous marriage precisely because marriage is ordained of God and the family is central to the plan of happiness. The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication (italics added).” This can be quite frightening and make us feel like a righteous marriage is impossible in this world but with a strong relationship with God and Christ, we can withstand the fiery darts that come our way individually, as a couple, as a family, as a community and as a nation. 

The thoughts for this post came from these four readings:

~“What I Hope You Would Teach Your Children about the Temple” – President Ezra Taft Benson

~“Covenant Marriage” – Elder Bruce C. Hafen

~“The Fulness of the Priesthood” – President Joseph Fielding Smith

~“Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan” – Elder David A. Bednar

Supreme Court Ruling on Marriage

This week our assignment was to read the Supreme Court hearing regarding the legalization of gay marriage. I have linked the hearing here.

I found the argument in the Supreme Court hearing quite compelling. There are things that I read about in the hearing that I had never thought of before. Personally, I have mixed feelings about those who choose to openly practice homosexuality. I feel that there are quite a few who have felt the need to follow the possible "fad" or simply experiment; yet I also feel strongly that there are those who sincerely struggle with homosexuality. I feel that just like everyone else, those with this specific temptation will be judged by the Lord who is perfect. Each person has their own struggles and temptations in this life relating to any of the commandments that the Lord has set, however, regardless of circumstance, we are required to keep the commandments. No matter who you are, as a son or daughter of God, He wants and expects us to keep the Word of Wisdom, the Law of Chastity, the Sabbath day holy, the 10 Commandments, etc. If there are any exceptions to these commandments only the Lord can decide those things.

Honestly, while reading the hearing, my heart went out more and more to those in the homosexual community. I have my own temptations that I struggle with and I could not imagine being characterized for something I struggle with. All people and especially as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I must love all of my brothers and sisters. I love that the leaders of the Church have clearly stated that first and foremost we need to be Christlike and loving to all of God's children. God loves all of His children and we are required to love and forgive all men.

Introduction and Week 1 Readings

Hello! As part of my marriage class at BYU-Idaho I am required to keep a regular weekly blog. This is where I will share my thoughts and feelings regarding this week's readings on specific topics. I am not new to the blogging world but I am excited to get have a focus for each week's posts. Here it goes! 

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in marriage or relationships, I am simply a student who loves to learn.

I would like to list what I was required to watch/read so if you are interested in learning more about where I am coming from, you can have a direct link to the sources:

1. "The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2012" (specifically pages 1-13; 61-103)

2. Quote by President Spencer W. Kimball: "Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us" (Ensign, Nov. 1980, 4).  

3. Paul Amato: (Fall, 2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional well-being of the next generation. The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96.

4. "Divorce" Elder Dallin H. Oaks, May 2007 Ensign

5. Transitional Characters - May 1987 Liahona "Questions and answers"

6. "Divorce School for Kids" ABC News 20/20 (I hope that link works because the video was really insightful!

7. "Father, Come Home" President James E. Faust, May 1993 Ensign

I had four reflective questions to write about that reference back to these articles and video clips. Again, this is simply my opinion and thoughts from personal experience. They are in no way meant to offend or ruffle feathers. However, I do believe that the Lord is very clear about what He expects from His children. He has ordained marriage between a man and a woman and there is no greater happiness than from being a faithful and loving spouse and parent. You can also see The Family: A Proclamation to the World for further clarification on the family. 

1.     Think about the community in which you were raised. What trends affecting marriage have you observed, as described in The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2012?

a.     I was raised in a predominately Christian area where family interactions were important. Most of my friend’s parents were married growing up even though some have divorced in more recent years. I have noticed that the marriages I have known to fall apart have usually lasted until the children are out of the house. However, as I getting older and more of my peers are getting married, I have noticed that couples seem to get out of marriages at a much younger age than the parents of my friends when I was younger. It seems that people are not trying as much, at least for not very long. I feel like we live in a world of self-gratification and that includes within marriages. The world seems to say that if you are not happy every second of your marriage then it isn’t right and there could be someone out there better suited for you – which in fact usually doesn’t happen. I do not think there is much commitment in our generation and perhaps that is because so many other things in our lives are disposable, we think relationships are as well.

2.     What was the central idea of Amato’s article on divorce that stuck out to you personally? Are there specific life experiences you have had that affect the thoughts or insights you had from Amato’s article?  Explain.

a.     I found it interesting that over and over again, Amato reviewed studies that showed the importance of both biological parents living happily in the same home. There were negative effects on the children if the parents were never married to begin with, divorce, get remarried and the children have stepparents or if a parent dies. I grew up with parents who fought a lot and eventually divorced when I was a mid-teen, this perhaps is why my feelings are so strong about learning to work together as a couple. To me, marriage is about humility, love and creating a Christ-centered home to raise children in righteousness. If that is happening, then marriages should not be falling apart like they are. I think problems come when pride creeps into the household and the marital relationship.

3.     In the quote from President Kimball, he stated, “…only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” What specific types of things will you do to ensure you preserve your family in the midst of gathering evil?

a.     Specifically, my husband and I will keep our family Christ centered. We have talked about reading the scriptures together each morning as a couple and then with our children. We are going to have family prayer morning and night. We would also like to have family meals together. As it looks right now, my fiancé’s work will hopefully allow him to be home even for lunches and hopefully we can have family lunches together as well as dinner and breakfasts. We plan to homeschool our children as well. I hope to help them memorize scriptures and quotes from the prophets during the day. I feel that if we are focused on the Gospel and living the commandments then we will have a strong family. My fiancé, Colton, and I have also talked about having weekly date nights where we can connect outside of the daily tasks we will both have to face.

4.     What is the Church's position on divorce? Respond to the question based on counsel from Elder Oaks and Elder Faust

a.     I would say something to the effect that we believe that God has ordained the family to be a married man and woman. The Church teaches us that our families and especially our marriages should be the top priority after the Lord in our lives. Marriages and families are most successful if they are built on “faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome recreational activities.” The Church also teaches that if there is any kind of abuse in the home or broken covenants for extended periods of time then “it is needful to have a means to end [the marriage].” Regardless of the actions of an unfaithful spouse, you must be faithful in keeping the commandments and staying close to the Lord.